Children in Divorce

I have a personal reflection I would like to share with you, as these scenario’s come up often when I am coaching a client.

Co-parenting a child has its challenges for all parties involved, but as I remind clients often – what is in the best interests of the child, what do they need? Or what is going to help them thrive as a wee individual?

My personal challenge this week is SLEEP OVER’s. My wee girl is going for her first sleep over next weekend and I have mixed emotions.

He father was the one to OK it and confirm it with the other parents, as it’s his weekend and his choice. I respect that decision. My daughter is so excited and I recognise it is all part of her growth and personal development.

Half of me wanted to say NO! If she’s not spending the night with her dad then I get first right of refusal and get to spend the night with her. We have that agreement in place, but this is a different situation completely. I also felt the pangs of missing out – my fear of missing out (FOMO) kicked in – I am not the one who is dropping her off, I am not the one meeting the parents, I am not the one who gets the call in middle of the night if she wants to go home…… But I realised those are my insecurities….my FOMO’s….. I have to release these feelings and accept that this is the life of co-parenting and my child should not miss out on normal childhood development and those amazing memories of sleep overs with friends. I must sacrifice the missing out, NOT HER!

So, as I remind my clients to do what is best for your child…. here I am working through this and reminding myself also…….. it’s not about my needs, its about hers!

Have Fun at your sleep over my gorgeous girl… and may there be many more!

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