I’ve been doing a bit of reading of late about relationships and hormones and healthy living with clean eating , (yes separately, as that’s how I roll – 3 books on the go at one time- but they all do intertwine. I did know what I am about to share with you already, but now I REALLY know how and why and I’ve REALLY realised how much all of these things affect each of us within our day to day lives, connections in the world around us, and our romantic relationships. I wanted to share my findings with you as I think they are fascinating and are really a big part of how I work with all of my clients in both my roles as a therapist and a coach.
I like to look at things within my own being and from my clients personal needs also, from a holistic approach. I.e. Why do we act and react the way we do, what is the mind-set behind our behaviours and what is the outcome from them? What could we do differently to change future outcomes for the better and maybe live a simpler, happier life? Really that is what we all want at the end of the day isn’t it? Much of what I am going to be talking about here is about the female hormone, estrogen! I personally think this is a good read for men too however! As men, you say you don’t or can’t understand woman sometimes and why or how we think and do what we do! Well read on;
Let me shed a tiny bit of light on the subject for you. This is a my personal brief overview, and if you would like to learn more on this topic I specifically recommend Dr John Grey’s new book Beyond Mars and Venus, for more in-depth insights, it’s fascinating.
The female reproductive system produces many hormones but for today we are focusing on estrogen, yes! And it’s thought as woman get older estrogen levels deplete! Well some say maybe this happens, apparently our estrogen depletes for varying factors: one main factor is a few days before, during and for 5 days or so after menstruation, (that time of the month), and rising again naturally after ovulation (middle of the cycle when woman are fertile), later in life estrogen depletes with menopause (they think, but does it?), for woman of all ages our estrogen levels can rise and fall every day every month for the rest of their lives, depending on how they are feeling, inside and out. Now I’m not here to tell you the ins and outs of the female cycle but to give you a brief overview so you can understand yourself and why you (or your partner for the men reading this trying to figure out the female species) act and react the way you do, and why so differently depending on the time of the month!
When a woman’s estrogen levels are high they are more feminine, we are generally more loving, kind, considerate and more open to being loved by others, having a deeper need and want for more intimacy, in this rush of estrogen phase. But on the flip side when a woman is lacking or very low in estrogen then the natural testosterone in a female body overrides the estrogen and her masculine side kicks in and she becomes more independent, less needy, less loving and less nurturing and more…’ I don’t need a man I can do it all myself!’ (Sound familiar?) It’s like someone flicked a switch, and it’s very common in most women. Some of us are better at disguising it than others. But we disguise or manage this flipping of said switch better if we are shown from our partner, children or friends a little more loving and kindness and happiness during this low estrogen producing phase. How you ask? Well…….. Women can naturally produce our their estrogen if they are feeling, positive, loved, cared for, happy and appreciated, connected to and needed or wanted. If you can fill these emotional tanks in a woman 9 times out of 10 it will perk her back up and increase her estrogen levels and all is calm and happy again. See it’s that easy!!
So next time you notice this within yourself or your partner, recognise what is going on and put some things in place to lighten the mood and turn that frown upside down. Yes it can be hard when you are in the midst of relationship problems, to turn things around and the longer you have been feeling unloved, unhappy, uncared for the longer it is going to take you to replenish those reserves, but with good practice and support it’s a definite possibility if you are both wanting to make a change. As part of my relationship coaching I can help give you the tools to put strategies in place to help you and your partner navigate through and help your relationship thrive. For those woman out there who are single I can already hear what you are thinking. I don’t have a man to initiate and improve my mood and feelings! Yes but you have good friends and family and other people in your life that you can lean on to express your emotions and allow them to perk you up and create some joy! When woman feel low in estrogen they generally are not 100% themselves and tend to hibernate and go into their shell, but if you can go out, to socialise and find the joy you will increase those estrogen levels much faster to get back to being your amazing self again within hours instead of waiting days for your body to struggle along doing it internally for you. So go out have fun, laugh, be loved and give love and life will only get better.
As a side note there are other factors that can deplete woman’s estrogen, Pesticides! We all know we should encourage more clean eating but do we really all understand why? Yes healthier living, weight loss or to cure insomnia, body pains, problem skin etc. But its not just the food we ingest its the skincare products and makeup we wear, plastic containers we drink or eat from, all that and so much more, BUT I bet you didn’t know this….. Pesticides we ingest from food and water supplies once in our bodies disrupt our endocrine system and turn into xeno-estrogens. Which mimic our natural hormones, in this case estrogen. So our brain thinks we suddenly have enough estrogen and our body stops producing it naturally, in short! But in reality we are depleted of estrogen and instead of for a few days a month having low estrogen, its ALL month every month and then we turn into, well… a not so nice to be around person or have a feeling of being detached from your life and many many others feelings and symptoms that go with low estrogen!
How to overcome this….. Clean eating. Eat mostly Fresh organic foods and avoid preservatives and packaged foods and GMO foods. Simply do something to kick start off with a 30 days detox, to rid your body of unwanted toxins and substances.* Ask me about my 30 day healthy living, clean eating programme. Use pure and safe skin care and makeup where at all possible. * Ask me about skincare and makeup ranges I recommend, that are void of all Parabens such as methyl paraben, ethyl paraben, propyl paraben and butyl paraben and other commonly used as a preservatives that are all endocrine disrupters and cause a lot of other health issues within the body (that’s a whole different topic). And by slowing making these changes to your lifestyle will in turn help your frame of mind, give you more positive energy and help all relationships within your life, romantic or otherwise. As if we feel fit and healthy and our bodies are free of toxins then our hormones are more stable, our head is clearer and our frame of mind is a happier one and we are a nicer person to be with, and will attract people to us more also!
Its not too late to put some changes in place, if you feel you would like further support to kick start your goals, improve your relationship or work on yourself from the inside out, then contact me and let’s make some positive changes in your life for a better more satisfying life!